


Monster

by Sephone_North



Series: Book 1: Judged [9]
Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Azula vs. Patriarchy, Gen, Hakoda is not prepared for young girls trying to fight grown men, No Beta: We fight like Mne, No one tell him about Katara, That's it, that's the story.
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-29
Updated: 2020-07-29
Packaged: 2021-03-06 05:01:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,513
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25597711
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sephone_North/pseuds/Sephone_North
Summary: The patriarchy attempts to pigeonhole some dragons. They learn that dragons bite back.
Relationships: Azula & Bato, Azula & Hakoda, Azula & Yue, Azula & Yugoda, Azula & Zuko
Series: Book 1: Judged [9]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1844545
Comments: 147
Kudos: 1476





	Monster

**Author's Note:**

  * For [MuffinLance](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MuffinLance/gifts).



> Always for Muffin. 
> 
> The last part of this chapter was easy. It took time to write what happened beforehand. This is the longest chapter to date actually. 
> 
> Don't expect a story tomorrow. I have an all day conference that will take the majority of my brain power, hopefully.

Azula and Zuko both woke at sunrise, and her brother grinned the whole way through. Ever since they’d been rescued, it was her waking him up. He hurried through getting dressed and bounced impatiently for Kutsaa to head over to Yugoda’s. 

She had one leg pulled up to her chest from where she was sitting on the railing on the deck. She was watching the sun peek over the icy peaks, letting the warmth hit her face. It was getting closer to autumn, and the temperature was much lower than she was used to. Her blue jacket was heavy, but warm. However, she did feel like she needed the sun to shine as much as possible. 

Her mind felt whole, for the first time in what felt like her whole life. There were no whispers in her ears and the hole in her chest felt full. She glanced at her brother, and smiled at his apparent excitement. 

“Hey Sunshine,” Hakoda said, leaning on the railing next to her. “You okay?” 

“Yeah,” She said softly. “It’s weird.” 

“What is?” He asked. 

“The quiet.” She looked at him. “I thank you for helping me,” She said. “Now that I’m better, I can see that you had the right to throw me overboard.” 

“You weren’t that bad,” He laughed. “You only almost set me on fire once, and we all know the stabbing was accidental.” She laughed a little herself. He glanced over. “We’ve been invited to practice on the training yard. Bato and Runalok think you might be ready to try the boomerang.” 

She looked up excitedly. She had refused to learn the sword, having more fun with a dagger and her bending. She had begged to learn the boomerang though, which everyone had said no, which had been greatly disappointing. “Really?” 

“Yes, really. Come on, let’s go see what the yard looks like.” He held a hand to help her down. She grabbed it and jumped down, bouncing on her toes. Zuko waved to her as he and Kutsaa finally left. 

“Is the South Pole a lot like here?” She asked, falling into step with Hakoda. 

“No, it’s not,” He said, his voice a growl. She jumped and spun to look at him. His eyes were narrowed in the direction of the palace. He glanced down and sighed. “I’m not mad at you,” He said firmly. “But I am mad at this chief and his council.” 

“Why?” She asked. She looked around. The city didn’t look much different than Caldera to her. It was made with ice rather than the bamboo and hardwood she was used to. But the layout felt similar, the high walls were very nearly the same. The castle in Caldera was in the center of the city rather than against the far walls, but that felt like the only major difference. 

“Because we’ve been attacked for the last 80 years,” Hakoda explained as they walked through the city. “We have no waterbenders, which means we don’t have cities like these. We once had a central city like Agna Qel’a but it was a long time ago. After that, the various tribes were split apart. Everyone lost our waterbenders.” He sighed. “We sent requests for help. We never received any.” 

Her eyes were wide. “I can see why you’re angry. Was it the Fire Nation?” She asked, rubbing her arm. 

“Yes,” He answered honestly. “Azulon ordered our benders to be captured. We were constantly raided. And the North apparently wasn’t.” 

Azula didn’t say anything else. She wasn’t sure what to say. Now that they were allied with this Tribe, her grandfather’s actions didn’t quite seem wise. She stared back at the gates they’d come through. “It’s not right,” She said quietly, pushing the complicated thoughts aside. “You’ve been allies, right?” 

“There has always been free trade and aid between our villages before.” Hakoda explained. “Until the war began.” 

“In which the Northern Tribe retreated and isolated themselves?” She asked. He nodded. “Then they’re at fault. They never helped you at all, which has broken their word and your alliance.” She looked up at the sky, tilting her head. “You could declare war on them, it’s in your right.” 

“Is that the Fire Nation way?” He asked, curious. 

“It was in the Warring Islands Era. If you created an agreement with another island, and they betrayed you, you had the right to raze the island to the ground,” She crossed her arms. 

“Well, I don’t think that would be very helpful at the moment,” He said thoughtfully. “Our fleet is south after all. And I think a fight would ruin Zuko’s lessons.” He smiled. 

“And we can’t ruin his lessons,” she said with a roll of her eyes, but she grinned up at him. “At the very least, you could push for aid and reparations. It’s easy to ignore people when they’re 10,000 miles away. Not so much when they’re in your sitting room.” 

He grinned sharply. “You know how to negotiate?” He asked. 

“I used to sneak into the curtains of the Fire Lord Audience room.” she confessed, as she climbed the steps to the yard. “I’ve learned manipulation from some of the very best of the Fire Nation.” 

He barked out a laugh and ruffled her hair. “I’ll keep that in mind, Princess,” He said brightly. He nodded towards Runalok at the other side of the yard. “Looks like he’s already got the ‘rangs ready.” 

She bounced a little, spun to bow with the flame as was proper, and ran across the yard. Runalok glanced down at her and sighed. “You’re too excited. I’m going to end up bleeding, aren’t I?” 

“I have only stabbed you once, and it was an accident.” She declared, sniffing in derision. “We hit an odd wave.” 

“Riiiight,” He drawled, though he was grinning at her. He handed her the boomerang and shifted her hands. “This is how you hold it. I like a cradle grip, which is why I’m teaching you. Bato is blasphemous and uses a pinch grip.” 

“I am not!” Bato yelled from where he was working with Toklo. “You’re just wrong.” 

“Yeah, he’s trying to feel better about himself,” Runalok waved a hand over at Bato’s direction. He held up his boomerang. When you throw, you’re going to throw at an angle.” He demonstrated how it would look. “You want to let go about here.” He lifted a finger. “Face the wind and throw. Try to get as much spin as you can.” 

She nodded and lifted her arm. She pretended to throw it, without letting go, checking to make sure that it was correct. Runalok nodded, and she flung it. 

It flew across the yard and its path did bend midair, but instead of coming back, it landed a few yards away to the right. She blinked and sighed. “Where’d I mess up?” She asked. 

“Too hard. Try again,” Runalok said, walking over to the boomerang and bringing it back. 

She checked her grip and pulled back. Instead of flinging it, she threw it at a decent strength. This time it wobbled in mid air, and shot straight down at the ground. She tilted her head and glanced over. “Too much angle,” Runalok answered immediately. She rolled her eyes, but squared her shoulders. 

She tried a few more throws, adjusting on each one. Runalok fetched the boomerang as she threw, trading between the one she had before and his. She was getting better, she could see it in the flight, but she wasn’t actually getting it near her. 

A member of the Northern Tribe called Runalok over, and he handed her the boomerang he was holding before he left. She flipped it over in her hand, trying to gauge the weight of it. 

“What are you doing?” Someone asked her, and Azula turned to see four boys walking towards her. They looked to be about fourteen. The one who spoke in the lead leaned down and smirked at her. 

“Learning,” She said, holding up the boomerang. Her eyes narrowed. “Is that problem?” 

“Who’s stupid enough to teach a girl how to throw a ‘rang?” One of the boys asked. “It’s not like she could actually do it.” 

“You should go back to your tent, little girl,” the leader said, flipping his hair. “You’re only going to get hurt out here.” 

“Oh?” She asked, shifting her feet, rooting her stance. She ran her finger over the dulled edge of the boomerang. “‘I’m guessing you’re a great warrior?” She said with a sly little smirk. 

“Of course!” He actually puffed out his chest. “I’m going to be one of the heads of the Tribe. My father’s already speaking to the Chief about a marriage with his daughter.” 

She raised an eyebrow. This idiot married to the white haired girl from yesterday? Azula hadn’t spent much time with her, but she could tell that she was way too good for this piece of filth. 

“Then, as a warrior, you know that you need to be prepared for an attack at any time, right?” She asked, baring her teeth in a parody of a smile. She carefully place the two boomerangs onto a nearby wall. 

“I know that. It’s called situational awareness.” He condescended at her. She let out a little giggle and attacked. 

She never used any fire, but she didn’t need it. The fool in the front was down in less than a second. She had grabbed his shirt and knelt, pulling him straight forward and over her in a smooth motion. She grabbed another’s arm, spinning him with her weight and slamming him into his friend before she kicked at their entwined legs, knocking them to the ground. The last one yelped and backpedaled. She followed him on the motion, slamming her hand against his face and down. 

In the time it took to take three breaths, she had beaten all four of them with ease. 

She brushed her hands and stepped out of the pile, glaring down. The altercation had garnered some attention. Runalok came jogging over, already looking tired. 

“I leave you alone for three seconds,” He muttered. “Why?” 

She looked up and shrugged. “They thought I couldn’t. It was rude.” 

He just sighed and turned to the approaching Chief and Bato. Hakoda’s face was concerned, which she thought was odd. Bato just looked exasperated. 

The two Northern Tribe adults with them were wearing enraged faces. She blinked, a little confused. 

“What happe-” Hakoda began

“How dare you!” One of the men yelled, storming forward. “You come here as a guest and you attack one of our tribe!” 

Azula back stepped, not quite running from the man but working to place Runalok between the two of them. Bato stepped up and stopped him, face set. 

“Peace, Tonraq,” Hakoda said sternly. He looked at Azula. “What happened?” 

“They insinuated that I was stupid and that I was unfit to fight,” She said, her back straight. She felt fear. Hakoda hadn’t hit her, yet, but embarrassing their hosts was a very punishable offense. However, the insult to her honor was unacceptable too. 

“Is this true?” He asked the boys who were staggering to their feet. 

“She’s a girl!” The leader snarled. 

“I did not ask you that,” Hakoda stated, his voice steel. “I asked if you insulted her.” 

“It’s not insulting if it’s true,” another snapped. Azula made as if to make a step towards them and he jumped back, almost tripping over his friend. She sighed. 

“I apologize if I insulted out hosts,” She said quietly. “But I won’t apologize for defending my personal honor.” She tilted her chin up, looking stubborn. She’d take the hit, she decided, because she refused to let anyone call her weak. 

Hakoda turned to the men, who were still sputtering. “It seems as if the boys insulted her and she retaliated. We can have a discussion on what is appropriate responses to that, if that pleases you.” 

“What's appropriate is that she returns to her tent where she belongs!” One of the men, Tonraq, snarled. “Why is a  _ girl _ ,” He spat the word, “even on the training yard anyways?” 

Bato shifted on his feet, his fist clenched at his side. Runalok made a deep rumbling noise in his chest, not unlike what Azula imagined a Polar Dog Bear to sound like. Hakoda’s face looked thunderous. 

“She’s training,” He replied, his voice low. 

“You train her!” Tonraq’s buddy yelped, as if Hakoda just insulted him. “Why would you waste your time?” 

Hakoda’s face set. Azula felt her heart skip. He was enraged, she could tell. 

“There seems to be a misunderstanding here,” Bato said quietly, shoulder to shoulder with his chief. “Azula is a member of our tribe and has shown interest in training with our men. We see no problems with that, which is why she’s here. I’m guessing you don’t do that?” 

“No!” Tonraq spat. “Girls reside in their homes, unless they are benders. Then they go to the healing huts. Men fight.” 

“I can’t heal,” Azula said with a shrug. “But I can fight.” She grinned. “As your students found out, I’m quite good.” Runalok chuckled and gripped her shoulder. 

“This cannot stand,” The Northern man said, face red. “It is an affront to everything we stand for. Send her where she belongs.” He stormed off, the other man and the boys following him. Azula blinked after him. 

She crossed her arms and shifted on her feet. “I did nothing wrong.” She said. 

Hakoda sighed. “No, I don’t think you did.” He shook his head and turned towards her. “I’m finding myself disliking this place more and more each day.” Bato nodded. 

She opened her mouth and paused, eyes widening. “Wait, he said that only girls can heal, right?” She asked. She looked up at Hakoda, grabbing his arm. “Zuko.” 

\---

Azula, Hakoda, and Bato hurried towards Yugoda’s hut, worried. Runalok went to find the rest of the crew, Hakoda ordering them all to return to the ship. He wasn’t sure how this was going down, but if they had to leave, he wanted to make sure they were ready to go. 

Azula could feel the anxiety in her chest. If they threw such a fit over her learning how to throw a boomerang, she knew that the fact that a boy healing with  _ fire _ would set off everyone.

As they walked into the hut, they could hear yelling from her workroom. Both men traded looks and rushed in, straight to the back, Azula following closely behind. 

They opened the door to see the Master Pakku, towering over Healer Yugoda. She was glaring up, hands on her hips. Zuko was back against the table, which held an odd looking dummy in its bowl. Kutsaa stood beside him, a hand on his shoulder. 

Azula looked at her brother and felt the fear twist into a familiar rage in her stomach. He was obviously scared, but he was also angry. Kutsaa’s hand wasn’t comfort, but rather restraining. She could tell that he wanted to get between the two waterbenders, to defend Yugoda himself. 

“You stand there and tell me that you would divulge our secrets to a Fire Nation Prince?” Pakku roared. “I will not stand for it.” 

“Then sit down,” Yugoda shot back. “Because I will be teaching Zuko, no matter your approval.” 

“Master Yugoda,” Hakoda cut in, looking between them. “Is everything alright?” 

Both Pakku and Yugoda jumped a little, before they stepped back. Pakku crossed his arms, looking down on them with a sneer. Azula met it with a vicious grin, contemplating setting him on fire. Bato, seemingly reading her mind, pulled her back to his side, shaking his head. 

“Forgive me, Chief Hakoda,” Yugoda said sharply, shooting cutting glares at Pakku. “Master Pakku has come to interrupt my lesson for no good reason.” 

“It is a damn good reason, you insufferable woman,” Pakku snarled back. “You will not teach healing to this boy!” He waved his hand widely in Zuko’s direction, making him flinch back into Kutsaa. The healer’s eyes went flinty, and he reached down to grab the knife on his belt. 

“He can heal, and heal in a way the world hasn’t seen in centuries,” Yugoda declared, spinning around to face the waterbending master. “I would be spitting on everything I have ever believed in if I turned him away.” 

“It is against tradition!” 

She made an expletive against tradition that made Azula grin. “I don’t care for traditions! And I don’t care for you! It is both that have locked me in this hut and made me lose my best friend decades ago!” 

Pakku went white before raising his voice to echoing levels. “You cannot blame me for Kanna’s disappearance.” 

Azula caught Hakoda and Bato trade a wide eyed look between them. She wasn’t sure what that was about, but it seemed interesting. 

“I can and I do!” Yugoda shot back. “Zuko is my student. I do not tell you who you can teach.” 

“Because I teach the right people,” Pakku retorted. Zuko flinched again, and Azula had enough. She slid out of Bato’s grip and moved to Yugoda’s side. Both old waterbenders turned to look at her confused. 

“You believe that boys can’t heal, correct?” She asked, sweetly. “And girls can’t fight?” She ignored the baffled ‘what?’ from her brother. 

“Yes, I do,” Pakku answered, his lips twisted in distaste. Azula’s smile widened. 

“I thought so. However, I disagree. You see, I’m a quite good firebender. So, I have a challenge for you, which I think can solve our little problems.” She said cheerfully. 

“What do you mean?” Pakku asked sharply. 

“Me against your best waterbender,” She offered. “If I lose, I will stop training on the grounds and Zuko will stop learning from Master Yugoda.” She noted the disgust that crossed his face at the title, but didn’t react. “If I win? Both of us get the training we want, from who we want. Have we a deal?” 

“Azula,” Zuko said, a warning tone. Hakoda and Bato mirrored the concern, but she didn’t take her eyes from Pakku’s. She widened her smile, baring sharp teeth. All she needed him to do was take the bait. She knew she could win against his student. She was Princess Azula.

“So be it. I will accept your terms. You will meet in front of the palace in an hour,” Pakku said. He sneered. “You will regret this girl.” 

“Someone will regret it, I’m sure,” She said with a bright laugh. 

\---

Zuko, Hakoda, Yugoda and Bato were nervous, she could tell. The chief and his second had already tried to convince her to back out. Zuko was much more resigned, cross legged on the ground, playing with his rainbow fire. The adults were murmuring, no doubt trying to see if there was another way out. 

She was sitting calmly, sipping on some Water Tribe drink as Yue burst into the house. “Is it true?” The white haired princess shouted, eyes wide. 

Everyone paused and stared at her. “Is what true?” Azula asked calmly.

“Are you fighting Kanaaq in front of the palace?” Yue asked, hand wringing in front of her. 

“I suppose?” Azula shrugged. “Is Kanaaq who Pakku chose?” 

“Yes!” Yue answered flustered. “Why are you fighting?” 

“Something I think we all want to know,” Hakoda asked dryly.

Azula ignored them. “Because they’ve pissed me off,” She explained. “They’ve insulted me and my skills as a firebender. Not only that, but Pakku threatened taking away Zuko’s healing training for no reason but his own feelings.” She sniffed. 

“But women don’t fight,” Yue said, eyes wide. 

“In the Northern Tribe, yes.” Azula answered. “But in the Fire Nation, everyone learns to fight, regardless of gender. If one cannot bend, then they learn weapons or unarmed combat. Male or female.” 

Yue stepped forward. “Women in the Fire Nation can learn how to fight?” She asked softly. Azula looked her over and raised an eyebrow. 

“Yes, we can. I’m about to prove it, I believe.” She smiled sharply. 

“Actually, Princess Yue, would you be willing to help us?” Zuko asked, leaning forward. 

“How could I possibly help?” the Princess asked, confused. “I know nothing about fighting.” 

“But you’ve watched waterbenders, haven’t you?” He asked. “Can you tell us anything about it? Or about this Kanaaq?” 

Yue nodded and settled down next to Zuko. “Oh, I can do that.” She paused and tapped her chin. “Kanaaq is a good fighter, but he still hasn’t earned his mastery.” 

“Wait, how old is this Kanaaq?” Hakoda asked, glancing around. Yugoda blinked, eyes wide. 

“Not Pakku’s student, Kanaaq?” SHe questioned. “YOu’re talking about Kanaaq, Imona’s son, aren’t you?” 

“No ma’am,” Yue shook her head. “I saw Master Pakku speaking to Kanaaq and asking him to fight. He even said that it would be putting a child in their place before they got themselves hurt.” 

“Arnook can’t seriously be allowing this,” Yugoda snapped. She rose, ushering to Hakoda. “We need to speak to them. THis is ridiculous.” 

Hakoda followed her out, eyes wide. Bato stayed, one of his feet bouncing on the ground. “We can’t talk you out of this, can we Azula?” He asked. 

She shook her head. “There is something in the Fire Nation equivalent to this, called an Agni Kai.” She explained. “It’s an honor duel. Pakku insulted my honor and threatened my brother. To refuse to fight would be to agree with him and name myself as dishonorable. I refuse.” 

Zuko nodded, though it was weary. “That’s why I didn’t even try to talk her out of it.” He pointed out. “The duel was named and a time was chosen. She has to fight now.” 

Bato sighed and buried his face in his hands. Azula laughed at him, to which he glared at her. “Stop worrying, Bato,” She said with a lazy wave of her hand. “I”m one of the best firebenders to be born in the last three centuries. I have blue fire, which is a sign of extreme skill and strength. Zu-zu will vouch for me, I’m a prodigy.” 

Zuko nodded, but Yue spoke. “Yes, but Kanaaq is an adult.” He paused, his eyes wide. 

Azula shrugged. “And?” She said. “I honestly expected to fight Pakku himself. I’m not scared and I won’t lose.”

Zuko and Yue traded a look of worry, but Azula was fine. She sipped her drink and smiled. 

\---

The sun shone on the training grounds, which made Azula smile. She pulled her heavy coat off, letting the cold air settle over her. She breathed deep and pushed the air into her inner fire, letting it flare. It seems Zuko was right, and that stroking their inner fire helped them stay warm. She shot him a cheerful grin. 

An audience had gathered around the arena, mostly male, though there were a few girls as well. Pakku and another man stood on the other side of the yard. Arnook, Hakoda and Yugoda were in the middle, off the side. It looked as though they were resigned. Azula stepped forward into the yard, and Zuko fell in half a pace behind her. She glanced at him. 

“Not an official Agni Kai,” he said quietly. “But I’m still your second.” 

She nodded, and turned to face her opponent. He was an adult, probably his early twenties. He was probably handsome, if she cared. His hair was pulled back in the same wolftail she’d seen on more younger members. 

Her own hair had been pulled back with a ribbon Yue had procured. It was the same blue as her fire, which Azula thought was very nice. It was always important to accessorize in a fight. She almost giggled. 

“Have you come to your senses?” Pakku asked, his voice sharp. Azula glanced at him and smiled. 

“I never left them,” She said. She looked at her opponent. “I hope to have a fun match against you. Good luck.” She gave a decent bow with the flame and turned her back on them. Zuko also bowed, shallower than her, and followed her back. 

“I know you don’t need it, but good luck little sister,” He said quietly. “May Agni bless you.” 

She snorted. “I’m not sure I can handle any more spirit blessings,” She pointed out. He grinned back at her. 

“Fair.” 

Hakoda arrived, rubbing his forehead. “We tried to convince them to stop this, but they refused. Arnook has stated that you’ve insulted the entire tribe and as such, must be the one to back out.” 

Azula shook her head. “I did not issue the original insult.” She said. “So I will fight.” 

He knelt and placed both of his hands on her shoulders. She twitched, but didn’t pull back, just looking at him wide eyed. 

“I don’t like this, I’m not going to lie to you. We don’t force little girls to fight for respect,” He shook his head. “But I understand that honor is important and he insulted yours. Not only that, but things in the Fire Nation are different.” He pulled her in for a hug, which shocked her. “Be careful, Sunshine,” He murmured and let her go. 

She nodded at him, wondering why he always acted like this to her. 

“Let’s get this over,” Pakku called. “Unless you surrender?” 

Azula rolled her eyes and stepped up to her opponent. She settled into a rooted stance and took a deep breath. 

“As you both refuse to step down,” Arnook said, “You may begin” He dropped a hand between them. 

The waterbender starting, pulling water up and flinging it at her. She slid away, dodging the tendril. Her eyes never left her opponent, not following the water. 

Yue had explained that waterbending was push and pull, which she and Zuko realized that every move would be seen in the hands of the bender. She didn’t need to watch the water, just the bender. 

He flowed through a few forms, and she kept moving, dodging the water being thrown at her. She could see that he was probably very skilled, but there was something in his motions that seemed stiff and practiced. He didn’t have combat training, just bending. She smirked. Isolation doesn’t make you a good warrior, it seems. 

She saw an opening in his motions, as push switched to pull, and shot forward, fire lancing from her fingers. His eyes widened and he jerked out of his forms, panic making his stumble back. Gasps echoed around them at the flames. 

She pushed her advantage, smashing his retaliation waves with hands of fire as she fought to get close. He realized and pulled back before throwing the water around him in a wide circle, that crystallized into frozen spikes. She jerked back before she got impaled and blinked. 

The front of his icy cocoon melted into water that shot towards her. Azula glanced around and grinned, before she dropped low and shoved a wave of blue flames forward to meet the wave. 

Steam erupted around them, hissing and crackling. The heated air hung thick around them. It settled there for a few moments, obscuring everyone’s sight. 

FInally, Kanaaq remembered that steam was just water vapor in the air and he shoved the water down to clear the air. He blinked, confused. She was gone. 

Azula leaped off the spikes behind him, wrapping her legs around his neck. She twisted forward, dragging him with her in a move that would make Ty Lee proud of her. They hit the ground and rolled out of his walls, her holding fast to him. They slowed to a stop and she twisted to push her knee in his throat, fire in her hand above him. 

She had won. 

Female cheers erupted around the arena, as the men stared in shock and confusion. Hakoda and Bato both looked tremendously relieved. Zuko was grinning ear to ear, shaking his head. 

She got off the waterbender and bowed, as was respectful and expected. She also bowed to Pakku, somehow making it sarcastic. She turned her back to them and started towards her brother. 

His face changed to shock as he looked behind her and he opened his mouth to shout. She didn’t hesitate, spinning to shoot a fire dart from her fingers. The dart punched through Kanaaq chest, dropping him. People screamed. 

She paused, watching the sharp icicles that were about to fly to strike her in the back hit the ground and shattered. Three women, including Yugoda, rushed forward to the fallen waterbender. She backed up, eyes flicking around to see if there were more threats. 

Bato pulled her against his legs as Hakoda stormed over to Arnook, who was already yelling at him. Bato led her out of the arena and they nearly ran to the boat. 

As they ran, she heard someone scream at her “Monster!” 

\---

She had slammed the infirmary door in Bato’s face the moment they arrived at the ship. The rest of the crew was confused as they made their way on the deck. She refused to speak to anyone, just running to her room. 

She pulled out her egg from the nest they’d made in a basket and clutched it to her chest. As always, the warmth filled her, calming her racing heart and straining lungs. She buried herself under the blankets and just breathed. 

She was scared, but not for her. They were in another’s territory, unsure if they were actually allies or enemies, and she’d probably killed someone. If they wanted to, the Northern Water Tribe could kill everyone on their ship. It’d be a lot, because she’d fight back to protect them, but they’d be overtaken. This could end badly and it scared her. 

Part of her that scared her was the fact that she did feel like a monster. The joy she’d felt before and during the fight, the fact that she didn’t feel bad about striking Kanaaq. He attacked her when her back was turned and he deserved everything that happened. But that didn’t mean that everyone else would see it that way. Someone already saw her as a monster. Would the Southern Water Tribe realize it?

She didn’t know how long she laid there, curled up, before the door opened. Zuko asked softly, “La-la?” 

“Is he dead?” She asked sharply. 

“No, he’s not,” was the tired response. “The strike missed his lung and it wasn’t on his heart side.” 

“The Northern Tribe? What have they decided?” She asked, not relieved. It didn’t matter if the man died or not. What mattered was what the Tribe did. 

“Everyone saw that he tried to attack you after the match, and that you retaliated.” He explained, laying down carefully next to her. “Chief Hakoda had stated that if they attempted to punish you, then they had better punish Kanaaq too. And in the Tribe, such a lack of honor could get him a lot of trouble. Pakku backed off quickly after that.” 

“So?” She asked quietly. 

“So, the deal stands. You won fair and square, which means I get to learn with Yugoda and you can train. I think Bato and Hakoda will only let you train with the crew, but I don’t think you were going to to train with anyone else.” He breathed out. “Thank you, La-la.” 

She breathed out, looking down at the bright blue egg in her hands. It glowed slightly in the dark, casting blue against the furs. 

“Zuko,” she started. He hummed. “Do you think-” She paused. “Do you think I’m a monster?” 

“No,” He answered immediately, no hesitation. She blinked before ripping the furs off to stare at him. 

“What?” 

“You’re not a monster,” He said firmly. 

“But-” She started. He interrupted her. “Azula, you are not a monster.” She choked and just stared at him. 

“Yes, you are capable of doing monstrous things, but you aren’t a monster. That fight wasn’t the work of a monster. You didn’t burn him when you had him on the ground. You could’ve, but rather you let him go. He tried to hurt you, and you reacted like we’ve been taught.” He shook his head. “You were in the right for trying to kill him. I nearly killed him,” He grumbled. “You aren’t a monster,” he repeated once more. 

“I don’t feel bad about hurting him,” She whispered. “I didn’t care if he died. I just worried that we’d have issues with the tribe.” 

“We did have some for a moment, but Hakoda started yelling. It wasn’t pretty.” Zuko shrugged. “We’ll probably be leaving soon.” 

“I hope so.” She whispered. “I hate it here.” 

“Me too.” He muttered. “Me too.” 

\---

She asked to go to Yugoda’s the next day, and Hakoda allowed it as long as someone went with her. He and Bato were meeting with Chief Arnook. So she dragged Runalok with her. 

They arrived around lunch. Zuko wasn’t there, having been sent to get food for him and Yugoda. She asked Runalok to stay in the foyer as she went to go talk to the older woman. 

Azula sat where Yugoda waved as the old woman prepared some tea. She was nervous about this conversation. If there was one thing she wasn’t sure she wanted, it was confirmation. 

“Now, dear,” Yugoda asked, pouring a cup. “What seems to be the issue?”

She wasn’t sure where to start, so she shifted uncomfortably and sipped some tea. Finally, she blurted out. “I never cried for my parents.” 

Yugoda’s eyebrows raised. “Oh?” 

“I never cried about them being dead. Zuko did, he still does sometimes,” Azula looked down at her tea. “But I don’t.” 

“I see. Are you sad about your parent’s deaths?” Yugoda asked gently. 

“Yes, but not terribly?” She said, confused. “I mean, I wished they hadn’t died, but there’s nothing I can do about it. I don’t see the point of crying. I’m a little angry that they did die, and I’m really angry that they weren’t like Hakoda, but I’m not extremely sad.” 

“Hmm,” Yugoda tapped her chin. “May I ask, when you do something that someone else would consider wrong, do you normally feel guilty?” 

“No,” She replied, shaking her head. “I’m annoyed if I get caught, but I don’t feel bad about doing it. Yesterday, I didn’t have any guilt about that guy almost dying. I only cared if it made out life harder.” 

“Do you feel bad if you lie to people?” She asked, nodding.

Azula shook her head, and shrugged. “It depends? I’m trying to stop lying to Zuko. And I don’t like the idea of lying to Chief Hakoda.” 

“I see.” Yugoda leaned back, “Well, you’ve come here expecting to be told you’re wrong or broken?” 

She didn’t look up, just staring at the leaf bits swirling in her cup. She gulped, waiting for the condemnation. 

“Then, you’ve come to the wrong person,” Yugoda said firmly. Azula’s head snapped up, eyes wide. “You’re not broken, Princess Azula,” the old woman declared, leaning forward. “You are simply different.” 

“Different?” She whispered. “You mean, I’m not a monster?” 

“No, not at all.” Yugoda replied softly. She leaned back and sipped her drink. “It is a different way to think, that’s all. It’s rare, but I’ve been a healer for a long time,” She winked. “My mentor spoke about it at length. Her husband thought the same way. He had a very difficult time understanding what was right and wrong for other people. He loved his wife and children, but beyond that, he did not care about anyone else. She called it an Ocean Personality.” 

“An Ocean personality?” Azula repeated. 

“Yes. You see, the Ocean is vast and deep and unsympathetic. La does not care if the people in it live or die. If you are clever and capable, you can survive in the ocean. But he does not help you. Right and wrong does not matter to the ocean. Empathy does not matter to the ocean. It simply is.” Yugoda smiled. “Does this sound familiar?” 

“Yeah,” She whispered. “But I was like this before we were in the wreck.” 

Yugoda chuckled. “People can develop an Ocean Personality if they are hurt as a child. It can come from deep spirit wounds. However, some people are just born that way. I believe that may be your case.” 

“So I’m not broken or a monster?” 

“Absolutely not. But,” Yugoda’s tone turned warning. “You can become a monster. It is easier for someone with an Ocean Personality to hurt people. You will have to be careful.” 

“How do I do that?” Azula asked. She needed to know. So much of her was terrified of becoming the monster her mother feared. 

“Set your values and find a conscience. Master Atiqtalik helped her husband design lines in the snow, per se. He did not have a conscience himself. She was his conscience, being the one to tell him if a choice was right or wrong. Their children also helped, as he learned with them.” Yugoda smiled. “It was known that Kajuit was a dangerous enemy. He protected his children with no remorse for his actions. A man tried to steal his daughter, and Kajuit killed him with no hesitation.” 

“So I need an outside conscience?” Azula asked. 

“If you have to make two choices, and you do not know if one is considered right, then ask. But, understand that there will be times when someone will not accept your decisions. They will call you monster, because you will make difficult moral decisions easily,” The old woman gave her a sharp smile. “Do not listen to them. You are not a monster. You are a  _ dragon _ .” 

Azula stared at her for a moment, before she returned the smile brightly. She placed her empty cup on the table and rose. “Thank you for your time, Master Yugoda,” She said, shaping the flame with her hands and bending completely in a 90 degree angle. 

“Of course, my dear.” Yugoda said, smiling softly. “I have no doubt that you will go far.” 

Azula started towards the door, as Zuko wandered in, face buried in an animal skin scroll, a cloth bundle hanging from his other hand. He jerked as he realized she was there, blinking at her in surprise. “La-la?” He asked. 

“Dum-dum,” She replied, smiling. “I hope you have a good lunch.” She began to leave. 

“Uh, thanks?” Zuko said, sounding confused. “Wait, Azula,” He called after her as she left the room. She poked her head back, raising an eyebrow. “Was this about the thing yesterday?” He asked, tilting his head towards Yugoda, who was cleaning up the tea. 

“Yes, as a matter of fact it was,” She answered. 

“You okay?” Once, the concern on his face would’ve infuriated her. Now, it just made her smile and feel warm. He didn’t think her weak. He just wanted to know if she would like his backup. Knowing the differences made everything different between them. 

“You know what?” She said, grinning “I think I really am.” 

**Author's Note:**

> I am not a psychotherapist, but I really feel like Azula has Antisocial Personality Disorder in canon. It really describes a lot of her interactions with people. So that's what I've diagnosed her with and made it so that this wasn't a spirit injury, but just a little neurodivergent. I did do some research. If you have ASPD, please let me know if I did okay with the characterization.


End file.
